What exactly
are social skills and how are they affecting your child?
Social
skills are more than eye contact and body language. They are actually at the core of successful
problem solving. Some things
that are considered social skills are:
accepting differences, asking for help, communication, following
directions and attentive listening, just to name a few. As you think about these you will see a common
denominator, your child has to successfully think through these skills to obtain
a positive outcome. Your child needs to
be able to identify a social situation, figure out what they need to do to
obtain the desired outcome, and most importantly they need to follow
through. If they have any type of social
skills deficit it will affect their entire life from friendships and family to
school and academics.
At the base
of building social skills is self-esteem.
Self-esteem is critical for your child to be able to begin to problem
solve. They need to have enough faith in
themselves to know they can find a solution.
To help your
child build their self-esteem, talk to them about what makes them unique. Everyone has talents or hobbies that make
them stand out from the rest of their peers.
Maybe your child is great at sports or is good in school. Maybe they are a good listener or great with
animals. Maybe they are knowledgeable
about a particular topic or have an awesome collection. Everyone is good at something. Help your child figure out what makes them
unique. Point it out to them and
compliment them on it whenever you can.
This will help your child feel better about themselves and give them the
self-confidence to work on other skills they may be struggling with. Pointing out what makes your child unique
will not only help them with their daily social situations it will also make
them smile!
Making
friends is another core social skill. It
can be difficult for children on the autism spectrum to relate to their peers. “The best way to make friends is to show
sincere interest in other people. People
love to have other people notice them and want to know more about them. Someone could find out things about another
person by asking questions, noticing what they are doing or wearing, paying
attention to skills or talents of others, and making eye contact.” Talk to
others about their interests as well as your own. You may be surprised how easy it actually is
to make a new friend!
This post was contributed by:
Lisa Timms, MS Special Education
Founder/Director The Timms Social
Skills Program
Lisa Timms
has a Master of Science Degree from the University of Scranton. She is the author of “60 Social Situations
and Discussion Starters” published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. You can find her book online at http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781849058629.
She is also the creator of The Timms Social Skills Program, an online
social skills program which is offered internationally for students ages 6-18
with ADHD/ADD, Aspergers, Autism or atypical students who may be struggling
with their problem solving and/or social skills.
